Better Together with Kosta Yepifantsev

The Sober Truth with Mike Gomez

February 06, 2023 Kosta Yepifantsev Season 2 Episode 55
Better Together with Kosta Yepifantsev
The Sober Truth with Mike Gomez
Show Notes Transcript

Join Kosta and his guest: Mike Gomez, Owner and Founder of SoBarity, an alcohol free bar created to aid those in recovery and other sober-minded individuals in enjoying a night out they will actually remember.

In this episode: Mike's journey in recovery and how he started SoBarity. How Mike plans to create a sober bar that will filling the gap in our current nightlife and social scene for adults in the Upper Cumberland. If society's outlook on alcohol is changing and how to be a better support system to those in recovery. 

Better Together with Kosta Yepifantsev is a product of Morgan Franklin Media and recorded in Cookeville, TN.

Find out more about SoBarity:
https://www.facebook.com/NewHopeMike

Find out more about Kosta and all the ways we're better together:
http://kostayepifantsev.com/

Mike Gomez:

When you hear where some of these folks have been, and you see them where they're at today and how they're living today, you know, gives immense hope that I can be a good person that I can be a productive member of society that I can give back.

Morgan Franklin:

Welcome to Better Together with Kosta Yepifantsev, a podcast on parenting business and living life intentionally. We're here every week to bring you thoughtful conversation, making your own path to success, challenging the status quo, and finding all the ways we're better together. Here's your host, Kosta Yepifantsev.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Hey y'all. This is Kosta and today I'm here with my guest, Mike Gomez, owner and founder of SoBarity, an alcohol free bar created to aid those in recovery and other sober minded individuals and enjoying a night out, they will actually remember Mike as someone who has spent the greater majority of their adult life evaluating and reevaluating my relationship with alcohol. I want to start this episode with one question. What does sobriety mean to you?

Mike Gomez:

Freedom? Okay, freedom from the bondage of addiction. You know, for most of my adult life, I drank to excess on purpose on a regular basis, like daily. Yeah, pretty much. You know, I wasn't waking up and drinking yet. But it was only a matter of time before I got there, too. But it was definitely every day. And from a very early age, the first time I got drunk almost died about the very first time. And when I woke up the next morning, I couldn't wait to do it again. It's, it's, it's, it's insane. It truly is a disease. And it is a progressive disease. So as I got older, it just got worse and worse, the consequences, you know, I started feeling it more as my body got older. You know, once I hit like my mid 30s, I wouldn't bounce back from the hangovers that easily. And so it finally got to the point where I didn't want to drink anymore. You know, first I wanted to all the time, yeah, then I didn't want to anymore. But it wasn't even a choice anymore. Like you had to, I had to, I'd leave work. And all I think leaving work is Okay, today, I'm not going to drink, I'm going to hit the gym, I'm going to do something healthy, something constructive. But every day I would leave work. And it was almost like I was being led by some magnetic force chair right back to the liquor store or gas station. So it just became a chore. It's like a compulsion. Almost it absolutely was a compulsion. Everything in my life revolved around drinking. So if there was a party going on, well, how much alcohol is gonna be there? Who's gonna be there? You know, is there gonna be kids around? or water? And I didn't really care about that. But how much alcohol are they going to have? Do I need to bring my own? How much do I need to bring? How am I going to be getting home? If we were invited to a party and there wasn't going to be alcohol there probably wouldn't go, you know, visiting my parents and Crossville out either let my partner know, hey, you're driving home, or I just wouldn't drink anything at all. Because two beers three beers was a foreign concept. Yeah, like that just didn't make sense. And it didn't work. It would just make me angry if I couldn't have more after that. So yeah, basically had control over my life. It affected my behavior, my health, I had health issues from the time I was in my mid 20s, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, liver issues, sleep apnea, you name it, obesity, I was almost 300 pounds at one point, as a result of the bad decisions that I would make.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Wow. Because I mean, I'm looking at you right now. And I'm thinking what 225? I

Mike Gomez:

have a right about 200 for the last three years. Nice. But I would make some really interesting rounds. Yeah. Which is funny, because it's the opposite of most people get into recovery. And they end up gaining a bunch of Yeah, because they didn't eat but me I would get hungry. You know, I wouldn't eat before I drank. Yeah, I wanted it to hit faster. But then once I was drunk, oh, man, I'd eat anything and everything. I'd make some really, really poor eating decisions and eat multiple times throughout the night. And so it just eventually, like I said, As I got older, it started to catch up with me and take a toll on my body.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Did it affect your employment at all? Yeah, on multiple occasions,

Mike Gomez:

I actually lost one job because I got arrested for DUI and a company car. And I ended up getting an attorney to take care of that for me. But it didn't matter. I ended up losing the job because I worked for her to rent a car. So we kind of frown on drinking and driving vehicles when you work for a car rental company. Yeah, you know, and beyond that, it just, you know, the drinking always kept me in a constant state of fear. Not to mention you can't really perform at your best when you're hungover every single day. Yeah, it's definitely affected employment.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

I want to touch on something that you said about the fear and the anxiety that comes with it because you think that it's helping you manage that stress and that anxiety and I have direct experience with this, but it makes it so much worse. It magnifies all of those emotions and the guilt and shame that you have, you know, the next day because you're like, oh, you know, why did I do that?

Mike Gomez:

Absolutely. It's like the rubber band effect. Yeah, it no Everything temporarily. But once it wears off and you, you're regaining consciousness, everything comes back with a vengeance, and everything, all the problems that you were trying to drink away. They're still there. But now you have this guilt and shame. Yeah, on top of it, and it just exacerbates it. You know, one thing that people don't understand about excessive drinking over long periods of time is that it it changes your brain, it changes the way you think. So it keeps you in this state of constant darkness, fear pessimism, you know, it just it grabs you and it kind of hold you there. So you can't move past situations in your life that you should be able to get through fairly easily.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

So how'd you break out of this cycle? I mean, years, like decades, yeah. 25 years, 25 years. So what happened when you finally were like, I'm done.

Mike Gomez:

So as we call in the recovery community, I hit my bottom. For years, I had wanted to die. Okay, I just I'd wake up every morning, just angry that I even woke up. Finally, one night, I decided to actively seek out a way to end my life. Oh, wow. Fortunately for me, my wife at the time had moved the one firearm that we kept in the house from the spot where we normally kept it wasn't able to find it, despite tearing the closet apart. And that scared me. And it scared me sufficiently enough that I went the next day, looked into a treatment center, which that didn't pan out. But they did give me a pamphlet with meeting schedules in the area. So then the day after that, I went to a meeting and started my journey.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Yeah. How long were you married before you decided to get sober?

Mike Gomez:

Eight years? Wow. Yeah. All right.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

This isn't going to be about our personal experiences with alcohol. We are going to talk about the bar that you are wanting to open and the business that you're trying to create. So fantastic. Tell us about so Bharti, what inspired you to start a business and what capacity you're currently operating in?

Mike Gomez:

Well, I've wanted to be an entrepreneur ever since college, when I got my graduate degree at Florida State, it was a master's in business administration. And so I want to be an entrepreneur. Well, that was in 2005. Unfortunately, the drinking kept me in this constant state of fear and just kept holding me back all these years. So now that I was sober, I, you know, I started to look around, and I'm like, Well, you know, I kind of would like to go out and have a good time. You know, anything that was going on, whether it was karaoke, or a band playing or trivia night, or whatever is all all involved alcohol, you know, I can be around alcohol. It doesn't bother me. I mean, you know, I'm around folks that drink like normal people, my parents, for example, you know, they'll have a glass of wine with dinner while we're at the house. And that's no problem. But being in a bar setting is a little bit different. Yes, not only is there alcohol around, but there's also intoxicated people.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Yes. And that's the most annoying part of it all. It really is. And I

Mike Gomez:

mean, and I was one for so long. I just don't have the patience for it now. And I just don't, I don't like being around it. So I've chosen for years not to really participate in any social events because of a lack of sober events. So, you know, the idea actually came up, I was talking to a friend of mine, that we could use a clubhouse here in this area, which a clubhouse for folks in recovery is usually a building a nonprofit foundation sets up a building where they can have meetings, 12 step meetings people can get together, they'll have like a little coffee bar, sandwich bar and stuff like that, you know, some pool tables just somewhere for folks to go hang out in a safe temptation trigger free environment. So that was the initial thought. And then after talking about it with other people and actually visiting a sober ish bar in Knoxville, called the Bucha tree, they sell just Ken Bucha. The folks they're all sober, and that they call themselves a sober bar. And I hung out there and I was like, Okay, this is what I need to do. Yeah, so that's kind of where the idea for subharti came from. And then with help from the folks at the biz foundry started to get things rolling. I love

Kosta Yepifantsev:

that. And so you don't have a brick and mortar right now, right? No, I do not. But that's the goal. Yes, that's the ultimate. So right now how is sub already operating?

Mike Gomez:

So right now? I've been doing pop up events and different businesses that asked me to come and set up in their shop. Yeah, so I've done events at Jamie's eats and sweets, glass, tangerine, and plenty on spring. Yeah, so that's been it for now. I recently just booked a corporate gig Peachtree Learning Center is having their faculty concert on the 13th of February and they asked me to come and set up kind of an open bar but then cash bar afterwards. So each person that buys a ticket gets one guaranteed mocktail and then they can purchase more if they want to afterwards you know,

Kosta Yepifantsev:

we were talking about this earlier about how like Cookeville has this weird dichotomy where it's like either you have kids parties or you have like all outraged errs. Right? Yeah. And So the nightlife within Cookeville, and kind of the social scene tends to usually lead to the other end of the spectrum of the all all outrageous. So how do you see so Bardi filling a gap in the current nightlife and social scene of adults in the upper Cumberland?

Mike Gomez:

Well, first of all, we'll have a space where you can listen to a live band, or sing karaoke or play Tuesday night trivia in a sober environment. So for folks that would rather not either drink or just be around drunk people, period, because there's plenty of folks at bars, I'm sure if you really paid attention, that aren't drunk, Oh, yeah. And they're still having to deal with all these intoxicated people. And they'd probably rather not be there. So it will definitely fill the gap. And that, you know, I want it to be a fun, loud place. I mean, I want music playing people dancing, and all that, but just without the intoxication. And you know, before I got sober, I thought one of my biggest fears of getting sober was that I was going to be bored to tears for the rest of my life. And one of the things that I've discovered is that I'm not far from it, you know, I actually enjoy things way more.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

And mentally, you're more engaged, I find this to be rather interesting. So when you're thinking about like a problem, usually, like, when you're hungover or you, you're like, Oh, let me just get a beer to calm down and you start thinking of solutions. Like your solutions aren't applicable. They just they don't make sense. And they're not operational. But when you are thinking of a problem, and you're trying to solve it sober, and especially if you're sober for like, multiple weeks, months, you're so clear, you have this clarity, where you can think of the solution, come up with the plan. And most importantly, you're not afraid to execute. You have this optimism, where you're like, Yeah, I can do that. It's no big deal. I can get it done.

Mike Gomez:

Absolutely. Yeah, you hit the nail on the head with that. Yeah. And just think how much better my pool game will be. When I'm actually shooting sober, you know, I thought I thought the more I drank, the better I got. That's where it works. No, no,

Kosta Yepifantsev:

no, how far away? Are you from converting from a pop up business to brick and mortar?

Mike Gomez:

It could be as soon as three months, okay, or, you know, as long as a year, but I hope to by the end of this year, have a brick and mortar location. Nice. But I also don't, you know, I don't set myself up with expectations. If it's meant to be, it'll be, you know, it's going to happen the way it's supposed to happen. But I do hope to have something in the next six months to a year.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

And so who is your target market? And who did you make subharti for? And is this a space for people in recovery? Or is it for everyone?

Mike Gomez:

Initially, I had just the recovery community in mind. But you have to understand, I'm a recovering alcoholic. So to me, the idea of not being an alcoholic and not drinking just doesn't compute. So initially, that was my only target market. Yeah. However, the feedback that I've gotten from folks at the pop up event and through workshops that I've participated in through the bits foundry and stuff is that there's a lot of interest in this idea from folks not in the recovery community, I never had in mind to exclude anyone from my place. As a matter of fact, I want my place to be all inclusive for people from all walks of life, whether it's recovery, non recovery, religion, race, orientation, you know, I want everyone to feel safe and welcome, you know, college students that are underage, can't drink yet, more than happy to have them there. And you know, and I would even like to have a family environment up until a certain time. I mean, after, you know, eight or nine o'clock, I want people to be able to let their hair down a little bit and get a little louder and a little bit more boisterous.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Aside from the bar that you visited in Knoxville.

Mike Gomez:

Are there any examples just so that we can draw some parallels to some well known sober bars in the US? I don't know the name. There's like barely any? Yeah, there's not very many at all. I know. There's one in New Orleans that just opened up not too long ago. And I know, I know, there's one in Austin, I believe the one in Austin is called so bar, you know, and they do pop up events around the country still. And then there's a couple in Brooklyn. But yeah, that's about it. I mean, it's it's not easy to find one.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Well, and you know, I always say that Cookeville is very unique in many different facets. And this obviously being just another facet. So I think it's going to be successful, because first off, I don't think that you're ever going to stop doing pop up events. I think that's just a part of your business model. You know, whether it's you doing it or somebody that you hired or doing it I agree, but I'll tell you, it's a very nice synergy between the environment in specifically the fact that a lot of people are so religious in this area, and they don't believe in drinking whether you know your church, Christ Baptist, I believe church God, so there's a lot of denominations that don't believe in drinking, and I'll be honest, we've had a lot of people on the show that are in recovery. That yeah, and that have gone through serious serious issues that are struggling some people that are struggling with addiction And it's astounding how many people that are. And so I think that this bar will be extremely successful once you get it open and going especially if you got like some good food man, I tell you what you could like you go there have dinner. You don't have to drink any cocktails or you leave you drive home. You don't get a DUI, you know, the world goes round, right?

Mike Gomez:

Yeah, I would I would plan to do Cuban food. Oh, nice to favorite Cuban dish. My favorite Cuban dish is vaca frita, which is our the direct translation is fried cow, which doesn't sound all that appetizing. But sounds good to me. It's delicious. I promise you. Yeah, yeah.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

That's great. Man. I love that. Yeah, we don't have any Cuban restaurants here, right? No, we do not. I love it. How do you see so Bardi contributing to the larger conversation and efforts surrounding addiction and recovery?

Mike Gomez:

You know, one of my hopes is that folks that are considering sobriety or maybe wondering if they have a problem with alcohol, you know, it's a place where they can come and kind of hang out and see what life and sobriety is like, because like I said, one of my biggest fears was that I was going to be bored to tears for the rest of my life. And so if folks can come out and say, like, hey, these folks are all sober, and they're all having a great time. They're all smiling and laughing, you know, that would be a good catalyst for them to maybe explore sobriety firsthand. You know, another thing is to that, you know, there's a stigma associated with being an addict or an alcoholic, whether you're active or not, as a matter of fact, for me growing up, my grandfather was an alcoholic, and he got sober, but it was never talked about in the family. It was almost like this taboo thing. Yeah.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

And I don't say it or he might relapse. Right, right.

Mike Gomez:

I mean, he spoke about it a little bit from time to time, but he didn't even speak much about it. I've taken a completely different approach. Like my kids, I take them to meetings with me, they know the people that I go to meetings with, they're involved. And I'm very open with them about it, because I want them to know if they ever find themselves in a position where they're unsure whether they have a problem with addiction or not, they know where to go for answers and look to for answers. So that stigma, I feel like folks that are not in the recovery community would come out and they would see, hey, some of these people, you know, and then if they find out, Oh, that person's in record, wait, that person's in Rica, you know, and they see that folks in recovery. You know, we're just like everybody else. Oh, I know, we just had this disease that we had to overcome. And so hopefully, it'll start to kind of undo those preconceived notions that people have about people in recovery being less than or

Kosta Yepifantsev:

so I didn't drink for over a year, right before the pandemic started is like November of 19, I believe. Yeah. Like, did you ever have friends who were like, watch, stop drinking, man. There's nothing wrong with you. Good. So I

Mike Gomez:

know. I was out of an alcohol. Okay. nobody questioned it. Everybody was like, Who? Okay, good. All right. Thank God, Mike's not drinking anymore.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Yeah. All right, maybe then maybe this is just unique to my situation, because I'll tell you when I stopped drinking, and I started hanging around the same group of friends. And they would all have cocktails, and they'd all have beers and stuff like that, I get like that, hey, man, you don't have a problem. Like, come on. It's so good. Just hanging out and let loose, you know? And I'm like, no, like, I want to, I want to do this, I want to see this thing through. Right. And I think that was probably the biggest challenge for me. Everybody looked at me, like, you know, was like a unicorn, you know, walking around, like, you know, talking to people about things that interested me that and a lot of ways interested them, you know, and we had meaningful conversations with people at parties and at restaurants, and just out and about, but I'm telling you, there's like a group of what I would even consider a time some of my closest friends. They didn't get me.

Mike Gomez:

Yeah, I did have some acquaintances that weren't close, close friends. Yeah, you know, kind of questioned me about it like, well, what why did you do that? And you'll be able to drink again someday, right? Or you don't have to go to the meetings for the rest of your life, right? I'm like, no, no, this is this is a lifelong deal. Man. This is not just a temporary stop for me. How did the meetings help? So the meetings, first of all, showed me that I was not alone. Because that was one of my other big fears was that all my problems were unique to me, that I was in such bad shape. And I had made such a mess of my life, which really wasn't that big of a mess, considering the way things could have gone. And they showed me hope. The beauty of the meetings is that people share their stories, right, we share our experience, strength and hope. And so when you hear where some of these folks have been, and you see them where they're at today, and how they're living today, you know, it gives me immense hope that I can be a good person that I can be a productive member of society that I can give back. I've found more spirituality in the meetings that I go to than I have in any church that I've ever been in. And these are folks that don't bend over backwards for you though. They'll give you the shirt off their back and fat call them at two o'clock in the morning. I've got a flat somewhere, you know, an hour and a half away. There'll be there in an hour and a half.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Do you have a sponsor? I do. Okay, okay. And I never went to meetings. I had thought about it though, for sure. I asked that. So Michael England is another person here in town. And he does a lot of running. And he's also sober. And he has a great story and a lot of similarities to you. And what's your sponsor? Like? I'm just curious.

Mike Gomez:

He's like a 70 something year old hippie from California. He's been sober 34 years, I believe. Yeah, he's an amazing guy, very open minded, very caring, amazing human being. Yeah. And Michael England to a friend of his as well,

Kosta Yepifantsev:

I'd love to talk to him about his story as well. And but on a separate note, do you think that our outlook on alcohol is changing within our society, and essentially the culture around all of it?

Mike Gomez:

100%? Well, I've I've actually read articles on this, that since the pandemic hit, yeah, there's been a much greater awareness of drinking in excess, several companies have popped up, several retailers of non alcoholic, distilled spirits have appeared and thrived and grown through the pandemic, you know, through the past few years, you know, there's definitely a growing awareness of it, it seems to be spoken about more, like I said, when I was growing up, and my grandfather, you know, you didn't really talk about it. Now, it's a little bit more acceptable. It also kind of bothered me, when during the pandemic, they decided to make it okay to carry alcohol home from the restaurants.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

I mean, I literally

Mike Gomez:

wrote that down, as you're saying it, but that was at the very beginning tonight, you know, and I think they're just trying to keep people from freaking out as much.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

They say only essential businesses can be open. And how in the world does liquor stores get lumped into? What does that say about our society of liquor stores get lumped in as an essential business?

Mike Gomez:

Yeah, well, and the funny thing is, alcohol lowers your immune system, right? Here we are at the start of this. Yeah, it was an epidemic first, right before as a pandemic, we thought it was more localized. And then they're like, Okay, here, you can take out, you know, have all the alcohol you want. I'm like, oh, that's gonna be good for our immune system.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

And we're just going to be literally sitting at home, just drinking. Sometimes I think about how serendipitous things are, and the things that happened in 2020, with the pandemic and the healthcare space, if I hadn't stopped drinking in November of 19, and change my habits. I don't know how I would have handled those circumstances, because they were extremely stressful. I mean, essentially, the world is in different place now. And the reason why I think we've changed our attitude towards alcohol, who, and I've heard, I've heard them talk about it, you know, openly that would literally just wake up and start drinking, because they didn't have anything to do. And they were getting paid. And it was like, let's go, you know, this is what I've been waiting for my entire life. Right? And so the dust settles in 21. You know, and 22 starts and everybody's looking around, and they're like, holy crap, we've made a boo boo here.

Mike Gomez:

Yeah, I mean, not only that, there was a huge percentage of folks that relapsed that had been sober, but relapse during the pandemic, because most in person meetings were shut down. In this area, I felt like we were kind of in a bubble from the rest of the world, or the rest of the country anyways. So we had in person meetings open probably within about two months of everything shut down. Yeah. But in most parts of the country, I mean, to this day, they're still very limited in person meeting. It's

Kosta Yepifantsev:

so strange is really I haven't been to so you know, our businesses at TennCare. Or we work with Tim care. And so we used to go there all the time for meetings and face to face meetings, and I haven't been there since 2019. Yeah, I haven't been there for four years. It's

Mike Gomez:

crazy. You know, the meetings really help, especially for newcomers,

Kosta Yepifantsev:

how bad is the situation now, relative to where we were in 19? About the same? Yeah, yeah. About the same? How do you take the concept of subharti ad, which is now a pop up and turn it into a brick and mortar? Aside from obviously having like a physical location? What else do you need? Or what other benchmarks do you need to hit before you can make that a reality,

Mike Gomez:

I need to ensure that the income from subharti is going to be enough to support me and my family, you know, I'm not looking to get rich off of this. But I need to be making at least what I'm making at my nine to five job right now, in order to be able to leave that and focus full time on subharti. So there has to be a certain level of income generated, which can be tough without having the location yet, but at least knowing that, given the opportunity, so you know, if I have a couple of pop up events, and I make enough money there that I'm like, Okay, if I did this five nights a week, right, I could survive off of this, you know, then there you go. So getting to that point is probably my next goal, getting to where the pop up events are generating enough income to where I'd be able to

Kosta Yepifantsev:

funnel that money back in maybe, yeah, yeah. And so are you going to have to make these pop up events, generate enough revenue to the point to where supplement your current income and then you're going to bootstrap this physical location? Or are you going to have to funnel even more money into the physical locations? Well,

Mike Gomez:

I'm assuming there's gonna be some borrowing of money. Yeah, that's

Kosta Yepifantsev:

what I'm saying, how much risk? Are you willing to assume? Or do you want to go all in?

Mike Gomez:

Yeah, I'm all in on this nice. I mean, I'm passionate about this. I believe in it. And, you know, the people closest to me, you know, my parents, my kids, my social media manager, they believe in it very, very strongly. So I yeah, I mean, I'd put it all on the line for it. Absolutely.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Well, we would love to help in any way possible. We love to partner with you in any capacity, I think what you're doing is absolutely phenomenal. I would love that as well. So we've had many guests come on, and share their experiences with addiction recovery. And I hope these conversations bring perspective and hope to those who need it most. If you had to start your recovery process over today, what advice would you give yourself,

Mike Gomez:

I would say, get into service work as early as possible. When I first started my recovery journey in 2019, I started going to meetings, I worked the 12 steps with a sponsor a different sponsor than I have now. But I had it all figured out. And so I started backing off on going to meetings and going to events and working my recovery. Well, it took some time because I was almost two years sober when I relapsed. But I did end up relapsing because I had gotten away from my recovery program. And so when life got tough, because recovery is all about learning how to live life on life's terms, not needing a separate crutch or coping mechanism. Yeah, yeah. So when things got tough, I was not prepared, because I had stopped doing all the things that I knew I needed to be doing. Yeah. So what I did, what I did this go around is I threw myself into service work. So I sponsor guys now I chair meetings myself. So these are all obligations that keep me plugged into my recovery. So I can't just sit back and be like, I don't feel like going to that meet. No, I have to go to that meeting tonight. Because I'm the Chair, I gotta be there to unlock the doors and let the other people in and guide them through it. You know, not only that, but service work keeps me out of myself. I'm not worried about Mike's poor little problems. You know, my first world. My first world problems, you know, like my car died back in March. And I love that car had just paid it off. It's a beautiful Volvo fast, sleek, that's not what I'm driving today. You know, I'm driving a 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe that was hand me down from my dad, so that I wouldn't have to have a car payment, or, you know, just paying this other car off. Is it my ideal? No. Am I eternally grateful to my father for giving me his old vehicle? Absolutely. I am. So that's why I say my little first world problems, right? That was my little first world problem. Like, oh, no, my fancy Volvo died. Now I gotta drive this Hyundai Santa Fe.

Kosta Yepifantsev:

Well, and you'll get back, you know, you'll get back to the ideal, right?

Mike Gomez:

Well, yeah. But the whole point is that I'm super grateful. Yeah, or what I have, and had I not been in recovery, that whole situation would have seemed insurmountable to me. But because of my recovery, because of my faith, because of my spirituality. You know, we were sitting there in Soddy, Daisy with the car broke down, me and the kids on the way back from spring break in our Miami clothes, when it was like 40 degrees here, waiting for someone to come pick us up. And I was in a good mood. We were singing and laughing and cutting up the whole time with the car sit there dead on the side of the road. So I couldn't have done that without sobriety and recovery. It's amazing,

Kosta Yepifantsev:

man. And I mean, obviously you have to be sober if you have a sober bar. Right? Exactly.

Mike Gomez:

Yes. Yeah. So this is definitely going to keep me accountable. Yeah, hopefully for for many years to come. Sometimes

Kosta Yepifantsev:

I wonder why life has to be so difficult and a constant slog. But I mean, I think that's the hand that you get dealt, you're probably very, very good at so many things that people are not good at, but you have to manage this disease, right. And other people, you know, may not have this disease, but they can't do half the things that you do you know what I mean? There's never a perfect person. Right? Right. We always like to end the show on a high note. Who is someone that makes you better when you're together?

Mike Gomez:

Okay, I thought about this and I gotta say two people, because if I said one and not the other, I catch heck for it at home, but my kids, Hunter percent my kids, my son's 14, he's doing the subharti events with me. So if you come to any pop up events, that tall dude with the long hair that you see standing next to me, that's my son. His name is Shawn give him a shout out if you see him but he is amazing. And he has been doing so much work with me on subharti He helps me come up with recipes. He helps me figure him out. He does taste testing. He's been practicing, and my daughter which is 11 His sister You know the three of us just have this amazing banter and just such a great relationship that when I'm around them I am 100% my best self.

Morgan Franklin:

Thank you for joining us on this episode of Better Together with Kosta Yepifantsev. If you've enjoyed listening and you want to hear more, make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you find your podcasts. Leave us a review or better yet, share this episode with a friend. Better Together with Kosta Yepifantsev is a Kosta Yepifantsev Production. Today's episode was written and produced by Morgan Franklin post production mixing and editing by Mike Franklin. Want to know more about Kosta visit us at kostayepifantsev.com We're better together.